


The Naked Truth

by girlintheglen



Series: One Hit Wonders [2]
Category: The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-30
Updated: 2019-05-30
Packaged: 2020-03-29 23:03:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19029751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girlintheglen/pseuds/girlintheglen
Summary: A Fourth Wall challenge story from Section VII on LJ.





	The Naked Truth

**Author's Note:**

> A Fourth Wall challenge story from Section VII on LJ.

  
  
"I don't believe it. Not even one of them would stoop so low..."  Several Russian expletives were uttered beneath his breath as Illya Kuryakin read once again the latest entry in a newspaper devoted to exposing the identities of certain underground writers.  It was a publication that circulated widely among a particular group of people; people like him and Napoleon.

  
"Illya, I think the report is true.  I'm reading it right now." The blond turned his head and saw that, indeed, his partner had a copy of the latest account of their activities.  Not that it was a true account, they hadn't lived it yet.  How did these things happen?  
  
"According to this newspaper article, I am strapped to a raft in the South Pacific waters, striped clean of my clothing and left with nothing more than a _desperate resolve._ "  Kuryakin blushed slightly, the mental image was one that would be widely circulated, devoured and talked about.  Why was he always naked? What did these people have against him?  It must be because he was Russian.  
  
"You know, they hardly ever write me as naked.  I'm just as attractive in the buff as you, tovarsch.  I just can't understand it." While Napoleon mulled over that conundrum, Illya merely rolled his eyes.  
  
" _Chyort_ , now I'm doing what they write." The eye rolling was something as popular as him being naked. Well, almost.  
  
Napoleon put down the paper and pushed back his chair.  He had a determined look on his face, something that prompted Illya to stand up and throw down his newspaper.  
  
"What are we going to do about it?  I absolutely refuse to ..."  
  
.........................  
  
_The sun was beating down on the fair skinned agent, his naked body left without a defense against it.  His left hand and left ankle were tethered to the raft, and Illya had been unable to break the leather ties.  His only recourse had been to alternate his position so that he would have equal exposure on his body, thus lessening the likelihood of severe sunburn._  
  
With the homing device implanted in one of his molars, help would most certainly be on the way.  Being found completely naked and at the mercy of the sun and sea would be only a little less humiliating when he could boast an even tan over his entire body.  
  
The only question was, who would be the lucky one to see the results?  
  
.............................  
  
Napoleon tsked at his partner's gloomy disposition.  The story had been published before they could take action.  Not that it ever helped, the stories were out of their control.  It was as though others were dictating their lives.  
  
As for Illya, he had to admit his curiosity over how that last question would be answered.


End file.
